dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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