please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
