we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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