Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
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