My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
where are you?
Hypothermia
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
