she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
