I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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