I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
