You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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