I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
