My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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