I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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