omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
