I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
