Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
