i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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