i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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