Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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