Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
