a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
