And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
