its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
