we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
