rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
