it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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