I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
