The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
