Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
