Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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