I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
