Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
