I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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