I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
