sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
The maid of honor just puked.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize