I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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