i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
