just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
