i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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