There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Randomize
