Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
