I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
