There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
