Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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