Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
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