Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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