I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
