Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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