Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
