Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize