I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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