it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
