After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
