Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
