is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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