I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
third nipple confirmed
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
