You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
