That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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