Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
