U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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