she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
